Honor: The Key to Lifelong Love

Healthy relationships—whether in marriage or in dating—don’t just happen by chemistry or convenience. They grow through honor, a biblical principle that runs deeper than simple acts of kindness or temporary affection.

Scripture teaches, “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” (Romans 12:10). To honor someone is to see them as God does—valuable, worthy of respect, and deserving of your best. It means loving with intention, not obligation.

Many couples start with passion, but what sustains them is courting—an old word but fitting as it is the ongoing choice to pursue, appreciate, and care for one another, even years into the relationship. Courting isn’t just for the beginning; it’s a rhythm of attention that keeps hearts tender. A husband who continues to learn what brings his wife joy, and a wife who continues to affirm her husband’s worth, are living examples of daily grace.

There’s a subtle but powerful difference between pleasing your person and honoring them.

• Pleasing focuses on keeping peace - “I’ll clean the car, so he doesn’t complain.”

• Honoring focuses on love - “I’ll clean the car because I know it makes him happy.”

The same action, but a different heart. One is self-protective; the other is love in motion.

Honor lifts your partner up instead of managing their reactions.

When couples live with this mindset, everything changes. Words soften. Arguments shrink. Service becomes joy. A husband who feels honored becomes more protective, gentle, and generous. A wife who feels honored becomes more open, peaceful, and secure. Together, they reflect God’s design - a partnership marked by mutual respect and steadfast affection.

Ephesians 5:33 sums it up beautifully: “Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” Love and respect - honor and devotion - are two sides of the same divine coin.

True honor in relationships is not about performance; it’s about presence. It’s about continually courting one another with the same curiosity, gratitude, and tenderness that began the story - because God never stops pursuing us in that way either.

When couples learn to honor instead of simply, please, love deepens, trust strengthens, and peace settles in the home. That’s where lifelong relationships are built - not on convenience, but on Christlike loving care.